A few days ago we had Ava’s home visit, ready for her ‘stay and play’ sessions in September, ahead of her starting nursery two days a week. Her key worker asked was how was I feeling about September. It’s a question I hadn’t given much thought. September is a massive change for all children, a new teacher, new classroom, new uniform and a fresh start. In our house, September also is the start of some much bigger changes for our family, especially me!
James moves up to Juniors! I remember my first step into KS2, I remember feeling very grown up. I think that’s the first part of my childhood I have strong memories from; I don’t remember much from the younger years, but I remember my teachers and classrooms from KS2. Lily moves to Year 2 and will be taking her SATs next year. She was quiet and shy as she started year 1 and her confidence has grown so much, it’s a pleasure to see.
Amy has graduated from her nursery will start reception in September. I am struggling to believe that another little lady will be starting her school journey. At the beginning of this year, it seemed so far away but the last few months have flown by and it’s strange but I almost feel like I have wasted our last few months together. We have been busy living; shopping, cooking, baking, visiting and playing, we haven’t stopped. At the same time, I feel we need to savor the next 6 weeks before she starts her school journey.
The biggest change will be Ava attending nursery two days a week. We have decided to pay for Ava to join the two-year-old nursery that is linked to our school. She will love all the activities and she will hopefully meet some friends that will share her school journey.
This will mean for the first time in 8 years, I will be child-free for two days a week!
So many people have said I won’t know what to do with myself, and truth be told, I am a bit worried about that myself.
Others have commented that I will be broody and want another baby.
Which is a bit of a relief really as Mr. T has had a vasectomy after Ava was born. When we decided to stay at four, I knew that it was the best decision for our family, but a little doubt at the back of my mind wondered if I would regret that decision. They say you should be 100% sure, but I don’t think that’s possible for such a huge, life changing decision.
When Amy was born, I knew there was something missing, I didn’t feel complete. When Ava was born I felt completely differently. For a long time, I wondered if that was partly due to the post-natal depression I suffered after her traumatic labor and arrival. Over the last few months, we have had an influx of newborns from family and friends, and I think that has been a huge test. I absolutely loved all the cuddles I’ve had, but at the same time, I have been happy to hand them back over to their mummies.
We have two days left of the summer term, and September seems so far away, but from experience, I know that the summer holidays will race by.
It always surprises me how small newborn babies are, especially next to Ava, the ‘baby’ of our family. It really makes me really aware of just how much Ava is NOT a baby. She is still affectionately called ‘baby Ava’ but she has definitely well into her toddler years. Having 3 older siblings, Ava is determined to be like them, she puts on her own clothes and shoes and is at the stage where her favourite words are ‘no’ and ‘I do it’.
A few days ago, I found her half-naked. She decided to remove her jeans and nappy, so I asked if she wanted to sit on her potty. She did and a few minutes later, engrossed in building a train track, she did her first wee on the potty. She was surprised and pleased, especially at the reaction she received from Lily and Amy, who were really excited and pleased for her!
I feel silly admitting this, but it makes me really emotional. Mr. T cannot wait to be out of what we fondly call ‘the nappy years’. I am excited too, but it also holds a lot of unexpected emotion.
Growing a baby is incredible, and I am still in awe today that I created four tiny lives, that are slowly growing into bright, kind and thoughtful people. It makes my heart swell. But for us, knowing that we don’t need bottles or pushchairs and soon nappies anymore is emotional. I think the part that tugs at my heart strings is that each year goes by they need me just a little bit less.
It’s definitely not all bad. For the first time in almost 8 years, we are getting a good amount of sleep, at least 7 hours most nights. We still are up in the night most nights, we still wake to find extra arms and legs entangled around ours in the morning, but we are managing actual sleep.
It’s just hard to accept that my beautiful children are growing and that we are done. It’s time to say goodbye to the baby years and embrace the next stage of motherhood.