Deciding To Have Four

Deciding to have a fourth child was an easy decision for us, we had already made the decision over 2 years earlier when we started trying for Amy (our third). We knew then that Amy wouldn’t be our last baby.  Simon really wanted to have an even number of children, If you ask him he will joking say he only wanted two. Then again when I was a teenager I was adamant I would never have children and I guess we both changed our minds! We both knew we had the capacity to love four children, so our choice was made when we decided to have our third child Amy, nearly six years ago.

The story of why I wanted four goes back to my childhood. I was brought up with my Grandmother and Grandfather and only saw my parents a few times a year. When my mother met my father, she left her husband and two teenaged children to be with him. She was disabled, unhappy and I think she found solace and comfort in my father. She suffered from multiple sclerosis, which deteriorated after her pregnancy with me. She needed 24-hour care and my Father, and couldn’t look after her, me and work as an electrician.

A miracle baby

I was a miracle baby, the doctors where adamant I would never survive, and If I did, I would never walk. My parents were refused care from their doctor and had to move surgery for my mum to receive prenatal care. I was born prematurely and defied all odds by surviving, walking and leading a normal life. It’s only since I became a parent really that I do feel a tiny bit of anger towards my parents for bringing a child into such an impossible situation. I am extremely lucky and grateful to be here, but there was no way that either could have cared for me, whether healthy or disabled.

I was pretty much raised as an only child. My grandmother herself had four children, my dad being the eldest, and her youngest was 12 when I arrived and moved out when I was still small.

My grandparents were in their 50’s when I was a toddler and understandably were at an age they wanted to wind down. I spent most of my childhood with my head in a book, on a computer game or at Sunday school. I remember looking at other families on days out with their parents and feeling pangs of jealousy – those feelings, in turn, made me feel guilty and ungrateful.

Vivid memories

The most vibrant memories from my childhood, come from being with my four cousins, and my aunt and uncle. I remember feeding the ducks, walks in the woods, trips to the seaside, and just being together. They included me in everything and I remember feeling like their fifth child. I loved my grandparents with all my heart, and I had a good childhood! But I could not help but wish for the togetherness, love, happiness that I felt with my cousins when I was at home alone.

And those are exactly the things I want to give to my children, togetherness, happiness and love. I wanted them to have siblings to share things with, the good and the bad, the happy and the sad.

Our little team

We are ‘Team Tasker’ even our school use the phrase now. I remember James telling his nursery teacher, and her commenting on how much she loved it over 5 years ago. We are a team in everything we do, we work together, eat together and play together. I know these guys won’t embrace it forever but while they do I am definitely making the most of it.

They have their moments where they argue and bicker, like any siblings! Amongst the rivalry, there are genuine moments of concern, care,  love and thought for each other with melts my heart completely. To see the people I love most in the world, sharing the love is really special. I wouldn’t change our crazy, busy life with four children for the world.

Smile! Anything to stop your mum ‘flossing’ in front of strangers!

Flossing – A new playground dance craze

Jubilee – another dance!

 

Living Arrows
2018-04-23T09:48:26+00:00

8 Comments

  1. Madeline (This Glorious Life) April 25, 2018 at 4:51 pm - Reply

    Love these photos Hannah! And loved finding out a bit more about you and your history, and the story behind team Tasker! x #LivingArrows

  2. Donna April 26, 2018 at 8:09 am - Reply

    This post made me so emotional. Having seen your photos online for so long they show a picture postcard family, a close family with a love of the outdoors – and a real team. You would never know your story from those photos and I think Team Tasker is a testament to the resilience you must have had and how focused you have been on the positives in your life. You could have easily swung the other way – blaming any negatives on your roots. But, instead, you look to make a better future and a really solid foundation for your children. I really admire you Hannah x

    • Hannah Tasker April 29, 2018 at 10:31 pm - Reply

      I’m really not good at telling my story. As a teen I felt like a bit like a broken record and hated the sympathy. Writing this post, and reading your comment made me cry! I think maybe I try a bit too hard to parent, and I need a better balance of ‘Hannah’ sometimes, but a huge focus has been that soild foundation, and I think you just put into words, what I have been trying to explain to myself for a while! Thank you xx

  3. the frenchie mummy April 28, 2018 at 6:53 am - Reply

    Wow! I don’t think I will ever have 4 children. They all look fab in those jackets #LivingArrows

  4. Sarah April 29, 2018 at 8:54 pm - Reply

    Wow, it sounds like you’ve overcome so much and it’s lovely that you now have your own team, even if you didn’t have one as a child. I can’t imagine having four children though – I struggle enough with two! #LivingArrows

    • Hannah Tasker April 29, 2018 at 10:33 pm - Reply

      I am not sure where I would be without them! It’s honestly much the same as having two, just busier!

Leave A Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.